Joy Inexpressible

It has been well over a year since my last blog. The last year and a half have been very dark for me, and most days found me struggling to just get out of bed. A very long deployment put me in a place of having to confront many of my own deepest demons, leaving me exhausted and depleted.

I can't say I've fully recuperated. Or that I'm back on top of everything. Or that I'm not still struggling. Or that simply leaving the house continues to take a lot of emotional energy.

But......

Last night I watched a small miracle in my home, and my heart is so full it just may burst.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, 

if necessary,

you have been grieved by various trials,

so that the tested genuineness of your faith-

more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire-

may be found to result in praise and  

glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Though you have not seen him, you love him

Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory,

obtaining the outcome of your faith,

the salvation of your souls.

I Peter 1: 6-9

Exactly what happened isn't what I want to focus on. It is the joy, inexpressible joy, of watching God take grief, darkness, trials, tribulations, loneliness, fear and anxiety and use it to produce something amazing and beautiful. Something that many years ago I stopped daring to hope I'd actually see this side of Heaven. 

I have children to wake and new friends to meet this morning, so I must stop. But I needed to share this morning, especially for those of you who are going through times of darkness and despair..

While we are promised to see His joy in Heaven, at times He allows us a small glimpse of it here on earth. 

And it makes every thing worth it. 

So take heart. Look up from those dark places and know He is doing a work that is more than you can bear to hope for.