Marriage Redefined

Facebook has been flooded the last two days with issues revolving around the definition of marriage. There are those who believe everyone should be allowed to marry whom ever they want. There are those who are attempting to defend the traditional definition of marriage between one man and one woman. Every post has just broken my heart - but not for the reasons one would think.

I think we have completely missed the bigger issue - that God's heart has been breaking over "Christian" marriages for centuries. The culture is just following the church's lead.

Marriage is instituted by God in Genesis 2:23- 25  

"Then the man said,

This at last is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called Woman,

because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." (ESV)

Marriage is first and foremost God's joining of two people into one entity. This passage is about commitment. It is a change of command, a change of loyalties from oneself and one's childhood family to a brand new being - a single being that incorporates two individuals. Jesus states in Matthew 19:6 "What God has joined together, let not man separate." (ESV) This is a permanent union, created only by God and divided only by God....

But that is not what marriage is in our culture.  Modern marriage, modern "Christian" marriage, does not live up to God's definition of marriage. Even if you take the modern reason for marriage, love, it does not live up to God's definition. 

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. If does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." (I Corinthians 13:4-8a; ESV) 

Every time we are impatient or unkind to our spouse, we break the definition of marriage.

Every time we are irritable with our spouse, we break the definition of marriage.

Every time we walk out of the room angry, we break marriage.

Every time we loose hope, we break marriage.

Every time we look at another, even in a momentary glance, instead of our spouse, we break marriage.

Every time we loose faith in our spouse, we break marriage.

Every time we prioritize extended family, children, work, and play, over our spouse, we break marriage

Every time we dress in a manor that may tempt another, we break marriage.

Every time we expect a spouse to be at a church committee meeting, instead of attending to family needs, we break marriage.

Every time we even think sexually about someone we are not married to, we break marriage.

Every time a husband forces a wife to submit, marriage is broken.

Every time a wife is disrespectful to her husband, marriage is broken.

Every time we expect our spouse to do something for us, marriage is broken. 

Every time we prioritize our need over our spouse's need, marriage is broken.

Marriage is not going to be broken, or redefined,  because of a law or a court decision. Marriage is already broken and the church has already redefined it. Every time the church encouraged wives to submit, without enforcing that husbands are to love their wives "as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph 5:25, ESV), we redefined marriage. When the church began making allowances for divorce, we redefined marriage.  When we began focusing on making each other happy, instead of helping each other be godly, we redefined marriage. When marriage became primarily a way to raise children, instead of a reflection of God's love for us, we redefined marriage. 

Over the decades of debate over legal marriage, the church has ignored its own centuries of failure to uphold God's definition of marriage. So why are we so upset that an ungodly, secular culture wants to "redefine" an institution created by a God it doesn't acknowledge, when we, who claim to know Him, have already done it?   

If we are truly honest with ourselves, as Christians, we have already done exactly what politicians now attempt to legalize. The state is only following to its natural conclusions what the church started.  Do our marriages live up to God's definition? Not a single one! So whom among us can justify "throwing stones"?  Instead, it is past time to "remove the plank from our own eye". It is past time to take a good look at our own marriages and those in our churches. It is past time for husbands to lay down their lives (careers, sports, xboxes) for their wives and wives to respect their husbands, even when they don't deserve it. It is past time for the church to redefine marriage as "until death do us part" and reject "as long as we both shall love".  It is time to look at our marriages in light of how they demonstrate God's love and grace, not in how we want to feel human love and acceptance. It is time to recognize that God has extended to Christian Marriage an enormous amount of grace and in response we are to extend that grace to others.

It is time for the church to redefine marriage within the body of Christ, to remember that we have fallen very short of God's mark and extend the grace He has given to us for centuries to a culture that does not know Him and cannot understand His standards. So Church - go and leave your life of sin. 

Cleaning up the Splatter

It was our first military social function with the whole family, celebrating Bob's class's graduation from Chaplain School. Most of the children were politely sitting at a table eating. Our youngest, 4 months old at the time, was fussy, so I was holding her as I spoke with a VERY senior officer's wife. I had been holding the baby facing outward as she enjoyed looking at what was going on around her, but her constant squirming required I turn her around to face me. While still attempting to carry on a conversation, my youngest became progressively fussier and fussier until it happened. She looked at me, closed her eyes, and projectile vomited down my front. She then proceeded to fill her diaper. The woman I was talking with never skipped a beat, continued talking, seemingly never noticing what had happened. Given that I was a very new officer's spouse and this woman's husband held the power to make or break my husband's new career, I didn't want to interrupt her. So I motioned to an older child to grab some napkins and attempted to clean up myself, the baby and floor with as much dignity and drawing as little attention as possible.

There was nothing I could have done to prevent or stop what had happened, but I was horrified!

During this Lenten season many Christians are preparing for the celebration of Christ's death and resurrection by taking time to focus on sin. Many will sacrifice something in a practice of self-denial. There are special devotions and services to renew in us an awareness of our own depravity and our need for a Savior so that on Resurrection Sunday we can more fully worship and wonder in our God's amazing love and power.

But many times in life it isn't our own sin that weighs us down. Sometimes we are covered in the splatter of other's sin. We cannot control it. We cannot force people to change. We may have very little input, but other's sinful actions, in-actions, and attitudes cover us in hurt, pain and shame.

Many times those spatters are minor irritations - a willful child, a rude driver, an off-handed remark - which we can easily shrug off. But other times they can drench us and completely weigh us down - a child's addiction, a spouse's infidelity, a back stabbing friend, the rejection of a parent, a corrupt politician, a spiteful employer . We have no control over the situation, we may not have even contributed to it, but it fills us with pain and shame. It weighs us down until we feel we will break under its weight.

During Lent we spend a lot of time focusing on Christ's forgiveness and redemption of our own sin and forget He did it not just for me - but for others too. Christ's redemption of our own sin is amazing, but He came not just to save us from our own transgressions, but to save us from the mess others' transgressions have made as well.  His total grace gives us the strength and mercy we need to forgive and to heal. He can take the splatter, the smelly, weighty, disgusting mess on us from someone else's sin, and completely clean it up so that we are once again fragrant and beautiful in His eyes - and our own as well.

He is the only one who can do it. When my precious baby spoiled my clothes, I was able to get rid of the visible evidence, but the stench and embarrassment remained. That 4 month old could not undo what she had done. She could not clean it up. She wasn't even aware of what she had done!  It is the same with sin. We can try to make ourselves look clean, but we can never forgive and show grace and mercy on our own. On our own, there is no apology, enactment of justice or choice that will ever completely clean up the mess. There will always be an underlying stench that will come back to offend us again.

The only way I was able to be completely clean was to do laundry and take a shower. I needed something else to fully clean up the mess because the tools I had were completely inadequate  In our lives, Jesus has done exactly that. He takes everything that has been soiled by sin, ours and others', and washes it completely clean. Some spots are easy to remove. Others will take a long time and may need multiple treatments, but He will remove them all!  He will remove every stain, spot and speck of dirt no matter how it got there or how ground in it is. He removes our soiled clothes. He provides the soap and detergent to wash it clean. He does the scrubbing, washing, drying and even re-dresses us. We just have to allow Him to do it.

I hear the Savior  say,

"Thy strength indeed is small;

Child of weakness watch and pray,

Find in Me thy all in all"

Jesus paid it all,

All to Him I owe;

Sin had left a crimson stain,

He washed it white as snow.

(Jesus Paid It All; Elvina M Hall)

Using the "H" Word

My heart went out to my friend the moment I walked into the house.  I opened the door, pushing coats and shoes out of the way, stepping over toys, maneuvered around the dog and glanced at the baby crying on the floor. 2 children were announcing my arrival. Within a few moments she appeared from the basement, hands covered in soot from trying to manipulate a stubborn wood-burning stove, face drawn and white. I handed her the package I came to deliver and asked how she was doing. "We're....ok...." I picked up the baby and after a little chit-chat, used the "H" word. "Would you like me to stay and....help?"

I have been there more times than I wish to admit. Those days when everything seems to be falling apart and I can barely hold myself together, no less make order out of the chaos around me. The body, soul and mind are crying for help, relief and even escape, but rarely is that vocalized. I keep plugging along, praying "God help me!", but don't ask those God has put into my life to answer that prayer. Why??

I think one reason is because we have been told we aren't supposed to.

Intentionally or not, the church has sent a message that we are on our own and failure is not an option. Our pictures, magazines and websites are filled with picture perfect families, smiling moms, dads playing catch, couples lovingly looking at each other. Occasionally we have pictures of over dramatized, hair-pulling moms over titles such as "10 Easy Ways to Organize Your Life" and "Finding Your Joy in Chaos". Each and every picture communicating that if your life isn't picture perfect, it is because you have failed, you're not "right with God", your not organized enough, you don't discipline enough, your not strong enough, submissive enough, content enough, healthy enough...and you have to change to make it better. We have workshops, articles, blogs and sermons that tell us if we read our Bibles enough, pray enough, discipline ourselves and our kids enough, and follow "these 3 steps" that life will be problem free and God will bless us. If we want to admit we can't do it, the Church communicates the only place that should be done is in small groups, or on a counseling couch, where the response tends to be filled with righteous platitudes, here is a Bible verse to help you and we will be praying..... The response is focused on what YOU, the individual, should do or have failed to do.

I don't think this is how God intended for it to be.

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2 ESV)

This passage comes toward the end of a discussion on sin where we, as believers, are encouraged to "not gratify the desires of the flesh" (Gal 5:16), to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22), and to restore each other "in a spirit of gentleness" (Gal 6:1). How do we do this? First and foremost we are to "Bear one another's burdens". The Church is very good at the next part of this passage, "Let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load." But that follows the command to help each other - to share the burdens. Yes, we are responsible for ourselves. Each of us will be held accountable for our actions, attitudes and decisions - but we are not expected to do it alone. Bearing each other's burdens is not done by saying "Oh, you have a burden. Here are some Bible verses to tell you how to deal with it and I'll be praying for you." No! It means we see a burden someone is carrying and we pick it up.  We walk with them, fully sharing the load with grace, compassion and gentleness. We get down in the mud to help pick them up when they fall. We pick up the load when it seems to be too heavy. We bind up wounds and give rest to the broken. We have to get our hands dirty and actively reach out when we see a need. And we do it without any expectations. We do it to "fulfill the law of Christ" -a law of active, messy, inconvenient grace, mercy, love and compassion. We are to spit in the mud to heal the blind man, pay for the healing of the victim on the side of the road, hold children on our laps, feed the 5,000, eat with prostitutes, and stop angry mobs ready for a stoning.

The other side is being willing to share our own burdens - something I greatly struggle with.  For me, it is usually a pride issue. I don't want others seeing my failures and shortcomings - to know that I just can't handle life at times. It is also the pain of experience. I have tried to share my burdens in the past, asked for help, and been burnt in the process. There are times I don't want to burden others that I know are also carrying burdens.

Sharing our burdens not just helps us - it helps others. I once had a woman challenge me with this. She told me she want to know how she could help me because she needed to be helping others. Her grandchildren were too far away to be with, her retired husband was driving her nuts and if she just stayed home she was going to become depressed. She needed something to do, so by allowing her to help me, I was helping her. By sharing our burdens, both loads were lighter. (She ended up doing my laundry for me!)

When we share our burdens we make it easier for others to share their's. Others see that they are not alone in their struggles. I love seeing pictures of friends' kids - with a messy house in the background. Or videos of a newly mastered piano piece - with the sound of a screaming toddler from off-stage. It is encouraging to me to read other moms venting Facebook statuses - because I know I'm not the only one who struggles. It is so much easier to share and bear my challenges when I know others deal with the same things.

It builds trust. As we share the "minor" burdens of life, it builds trust, compassion and grace so that when the major challenges in life come, we don't have to struggle alone. When we have walked with each other through sleepless nights, parenting mis-steps, messy houses, and Walmart melt downs, it is easier to go to each other when a child rejects the faith; a spouse has an affair; we find ourselves drowning in addiction or depression; we are facing foreclosure and bankruptcy; we are doubting God.

Sharing our burdens builds accountability and helps prevent bigger burdens. Those "little" burdens we carry can quickly accumulate to become "big" burdens. How many overwhelmed mom's hide alcohol and drug addictions that started as a way to cope with the usual stresses of parenting? Just a "little something" to help them relax. How many marriages have suffered from affairs that were stumbled into because no one was willing to admit there were little problems?  He was "just a friend" who listened. How many teens have taken their lives because they can't live up to magazine covers and keep up appearances?

I was glad to be able to leave my friend's home an hour later with the house picked up, dinner on the stove, house warming up, and children occupied. I didn't do much more than hold the baby, pick up a few toys, listen and talk. It wasn't much, I probably should have done more, but she was looking a little better. I was encouraged to know I'm not the only one who has days like that. I was happy to have the opportunity to relieve a little stress, to focus on someone other than myself and my family, and hopefully help her day end on a better note. As I walked out I asked her to please call when she needs help, and I hope she does, but also reminding myself that I need to ask for help too because I can't do this alone.

How often do you use the "H" word?

Our 2013-2014 Curriculum Plan

It is that time of year when parents and educators are looking toward next school year. Next school year we will have 5 children schooling full time. My primary goal has been to find a plan that is as easy on me as possible, while meeting some unique interests and needs of each child. This means having children work as independently as possible, or in as few groups as possible. While there will probably be some changes, this is our plan for next school year:

Everyone uses Math-U-See. This mastery based curriculum spans pre-K through Calculus. They have added to the curriculum this year to fill in some gaps, include more critical thinking and application and have made available guides so, if desired, it can be aligned to Common Core Standards. Our oldest will be supplementing with Life of Fred to include more review, practice and practical application.

The younger 4 of our school will be following the Modern History schedule from Easy Classical.  Easy Classical has planned out a daily schedule for a classical education, following recommendations from Veritas Press and The Well Trained Mind. The Early Modern and Modern History schedules use The Story of the World and The History of US series as spines and include literature suggestions. We will also be using their Modern History Writing schedule, which uses The Institute for Excellence in Writing's structure and style tied into each week's history readings. Instead of using Easy Classical's geography, we will use Geography Matter's Trail Guide to World Geography.

Included in the changes to our curriculum this year is Growing With Grammar. The hope is that it will be more student directed, interesting and have clearer text that what we are currently using. Spelling Zoo, from IEW, has done wonders for my 2 struggling spellers, so we are sticking with that. I expect child #4 will move into it once he has completed All About Spelling Level 2.  I will be putting together handwriting/copywork books for each child based on our history, science and Bible readings. Our little Lady Bug will continue with IEW's Primary Arts of Language (PAL) as she masters the fundamentals of reading and writing. PAL was new to us this year and we have greatly enjoyed the fun, multi-sensory approach to the language arts.

For the second year we will be using Noeo Science. Also a classical approach, 4 out of the 5 children will be able to experiment with Physics, while learning about some of important scientists of the modern era.

All 4 younger students will continue with Classical Academic Press's Latin for Children and Song School Latin.  Daughters 2 and 3 will use Building Thinking Skills (cd-rom) from Critical Thinking for Logic.

As a family we began a study through the Bible last school year. The curriculum wasn't finished yet and we felt the need to tackle some other issues this year, so we took a break from it. Next year we will continue working our way through each book of the Bible with Grapevine Studies, adding in the dvd series What's In The Bible? with Buck Denver.

So far I have left out our oldest, who is entering high school level work. She loves learning on her own, discovering, researching and being creative. We want to use this year to really begin preparing her for more in-depth analysis and critical thinking. She will be taking a Great Books approach to history, by reading and analyzing some of the great literature of the Modern Era, researching the authors and time periods of each piece using the library, internet and Spielvogel's "Western Civilization". Her literature list is coming from The Well Trained Mind (Susan Wise Bauer; Peace Hill Press), with some additions we made to accommodate her love of biology. To help her begin to learn how to analyze literature and understand literary techniques she will use IEW's new "Grammar of Poetry". We also plan to have her complete a Christian world-view study, but haven't settled on one yet.  Science for High School will be her guide in learning biology. A student based curriculum, it gives her several questions at the beginning of each week that she must research to find the answers. At the end of the week she and I will discuss her answers followed by laboratory and microscope experiments. Rounding out her schedule will be Latin Alive! from Classical Academic Press and Vocabulary from Classical Roots.

The hope and prayer is this line up will help everyone become more independent and self-motivated while building essential skill as we discover this amazing world and life God has given us.

Shelters in the Midst of the Storms

The rain pounded the windows and wind whipped around the house as we worked on our lessons yesterday. Twice I ran outside to chase a flying garbage can, only to have it go flying off the back patio again. During one particularly violent gust of whistling wind a child looked at me and said, "Mommy, its scary out there." I gave her a hug and thanked God for a sturdy, warm house to shelter my children in.

Last night we walked into a different type of storm. At the closing of announcements, our pastor stood and asked the adults to meet in the sanctuary to pray for a local family after children had been taken to their classes. I saw five faces look at me and ask, "Mommy, what happened?" I felt my heart drop because I knew I needed to tell them something. I realized my 12 year old was heading up to youth group where all the other teens would know what had happened. I had no idea how closely connected other children were to the previous nights events - and I had failed to prepare my children for what they could be hearing. I looked at my 4 year old and thought "There is no reason why she should have to hear something like this."  I quietly said, "Last night a grandma and two very little boys died. We will talk more about it when we get home."

I want my children to have a childhood. I want them to be able to grow, learn, laugh and play without the overwhelming burdens of this world. But sometimes, no matter what I do as a parent, the world creeps its way into their lives. I cannot shield them forever from the world, nor is it healthy for them to be overly protected from the effects of sin. One day, they must leave our home and go out into the world without me - and they need to be ready.

They need to hear that the safe, loving two-parent home they are growing up in is not the way many, or even most, children live. They need to understand that not everyone treats others with the love, respect, care and commitment that we require of them. They need to experience that choices have consequences. That sometimes those consequences are far reaching and are devastating to ourselves and others. They need to be ready to experience whatever life will bring their way, and it is my job to prepare them.

At home we spend a lot of time talking about God's love, grace and mercy; that He is always with us no matter what happens. They experience the effects of sin with every disagreement, squabble, angry moment, and selfish action. We teach forgiveness and extending God's grace to each other. They know that life isn't always fair and brings things we'd rather it did not: daddies are deployed, mommies get sad, children get sick and die.  They have played with a neighbor's foster baby, helped pack shoe boxes for children without basic necessities, and bought toys for prisoner's children. We have talked about abortion, friends who live between two home due to divorce , terrorism and injustice. At every step I reassure them that God has an amazing plan that at times is very hard to understand. We teach them that it is man's sinful nature that causes all these things to happen, but we have a God who sacrificed himself so that one day we may live with Him and all these things will cease.

But sometimes it just comes too close to home and as their mother I need to find the delicate balance between sheltering hearts and minds that are not fully ready to experience what sin can do and preparing them to face a world full of evil.

So last night I brought them home and put the 2 youngest to bed with a lot of hugs, kisses, songs and prayers. I walked into our 7 year old's room and simply said, "Bud, last night a grandma and her 2 grandsons were killed. People at church know the family and are very sad. The pastor is talking with the parents and people are taking them meals. We need to pray for a very sad mommy and daddy." More prayers and hugs and I turned off the light and left the room.

Next was the older girls. As I walked in, the 12 year old looked at me, pale and eyes full of tears. "Mommy, I heard what happened"

"I know." I said, "but I need to tell your sisters and we need to talk about it."

I looked at the other two and explained, "There is a man who takes care of the grounds around the church. He has 2 little boys, 6 months and 2 years old. Last night they were supposed to be celebrating the 2 year old's birthday. The children's grandma has a disease called Bipolar Disorder where sometimes she is very, very happy, but sometimes she is very, very sad. She was supposed to pick up the children from their daycare and take them home for the birthday party. Instead, she picked them up, drove to a nearby town and shot the children and herself."

My heart broke for those parents. My heart broke for my crying children, who had never dreamed something like that could happen. We talked for a while, I gave them hugs and reassured them that even in an awful thing like this, God has a plan. He loves those parents, the children and the grandmother. I explained even when we can't understand why He allows things to happen, we can trust Him and show His love to others. I assured them that those parents love God and He will hold them up - and our church will walk right beside them.

I gave hugs, listened to prayers and headed downstairs - thanking God for being our shelter during Storms because "Daddy, God, it is scary out there."

Sacrifice of Parenthood

My amazing husband took all the children out for the entire day. Yes, all 6 of them, by himself, for the whole day. As they closed the door behind them this morning, I faced an eerily quiet house and realized - I had no idea what to do with myself. Bob left with instructions to relax and enjoy myself, so school and housework were out. I decided to start with a long, hot shower - with no interruptions, heads peeking around the curtain or shrieks from the other room hurrying me out. Then, because I still didn't know what to do, I folded laundry (housework I know, but I was bored!) while watching a British period drama. As the program ended I realized what I really wanted to do.

During our second honeymoon last fall, I had the opportunity to discover a hobby I really enjoy. It is something I know very little about, to be honest, but puts my creative side to work and I could, if I chose to, incorporate the children into it. Today would be a great day to begin experimenting and learning about my new found interest! There is one big problem. This hobby requires one basic piece of equipment, which I do not own, that is quite expensive. So while watching the credits roles I became very frustrated...and the brain started going in a direction it should not go.

I've been a stay-at-home mom for 12 years now. I've been "officially" home schooling for 8 years, but in all honesty I have been doing that for 12 years also. In that time I have been through 4 churches which I served as "pastor's wife", 5 moves- one which I did without Bob around, 5 more pregnancies, 5 vehicles, countless emergency room visits, hundreds of nights alone waiting for Bob to return from serving others, and even more hundreds of sleepless nights with babies and sick children. There have been the meals skipped, old clothes worn, nasty cloth diapers used and changed, and outings passed over just to make ends meet.  I looked around the house and saw toys that are never played with, video games and consoles I don't enjoy, videos that are never watched, and books that have been read once and never touched again. It just doesn't seem fair. After everything I have sacrificed and given - I can't do the one thing I want to do on my one day off in months, because of several hundred dollars. Its not like we can even budget to save for it because the truck needs new tires and the check engine light is on, children need new clothes, food and gas prices are skyrocketing, taxes are going up, curriculum needs to be purchased...and the list goes on, and on, and on. It just isn't fair!

And then I stopped myself, because thinking like that isn't helpful. It serves no purpose and ultimately is very selfish. This is not the life I would have chosen for myself, but it is the life God has blessed me with. I don't make all of those sacrifices in the hopes that I'll someday be rewarded or paid back. I do it because I need to. I do it because I love my husband and children. I do it because I want to serve a God who has sacrificed everything for me....oh, wait.

I have a heavenly Father who sacrificed EVERYTHING....for me....whose heart is whining and complaining because I can't do one thing, right now, when I want to. He gave me a husband who loves me. And how many people do I know who have never had someone love them like Bob loves me?  He gave me 6 incredible children, while so many people would give everything to have even one. He placed us in a nation where I can legally educate my children in the way I feel is best, while other families live in fear of having their children removed, heavy fines and jail time. I have a warm house to enjoy on this chilly day, while so many people are struggling to find a corner to hide from the wind. I am healthy, while so many people can't leave a hospital room. I have a dresser full of clothes to wear, while others would love to have a coat and pair of shoes. I have a Father who gave up His Son, so that I could live.

That several hundred dollars doesn't seem so important anymore. Yes, we sacrifice a lot as parents, but it is nothing compared to the sacrifice our Heavenly Father has made for us and all the other blessings we receive.  So Heavenly Father, forgive my ungrateful heart and selfish desires. Help me to see and focus on all that You have blessed me with and find ways to use them to bless others in return. May my heart, mind and soul desire only to serve You. May it be enough that by Your grace one day I may hope to hear You say, "Well done good and faithful servant."

The Sky is blue....or is it? Our expectations v God's Plan

I was recently asked "Why are so many Christians judgmental? ".  It is a question I have struggled with myself,  mostly because I see so much of it in me. It is one of the biggest complaints non-Christians have with Christians. I have seen it tear apart friendships, marriages, families and churches. We all do it. We are all effected by it. We know we are all flawed, so why are we so quick to judge the imperfections in others, especially those in the world?

It finally hit me. The question answers itself. It is because we are imperfect, we see imperfectly and have imperfect expectations.

I think it is like a child, who after playing outside day after day realizes the sky is always blue. He is curious as to why, so reads and studies to find the explanation. He soon determines that the sky is blue because the way creation works makes it blue. It is beautiful and marvelous how so many things come together to give us a blue sky! He feels he understands what makes it so, glories in this revelation and runs to share it with others. Than one evening, he goes outside, and the sky is red. It is the complete opposite of what his experience and study has told him to expect.


He now has a choice. He can decide decide to ignore the red sky and continue to believe the sky is always blue. He can try to tell the sky that it is not behaving the way it should and must come back into alignment with the laws of nature. or He can recognize that he was wrong in believing the sky is always blue, go back and study and learn more about the sky.

When we judge others, in a way, we have decided to believe that the red sky is not behaving according to the laws that govern it.

As Christians we work, study, and pray to understand God and world around us. We read scripture, listen to pastors and teachers, study the writings of great men and women of God who have gone before us, pray for wisdom and guidance, then draw conclusions about the way things are supposed to be. Often, frequently, we fail to realize, there is much more to it all than we can see, think, or imagine. So when the sky turns red, when people and situations don't work they way they are "supposed" to, we judge them to be working against God. We assume since they don't live up to our experience, understanding and expectations, that they are wrong.

What we fail to recognize, is that maybe we are wrong in our understanding.

Sin and our limited human comprehension prevent us from seeing the entire situation. We claim "The Bible says...", and fail to realize that God has not revealed everything to us. So while what the Bible says is always true, we are missing information. We forget that our human comprehension is flawed, so how we understand God to be may not be what God is.

We yell at the red sky "You are wrong", while God is whispering "You don't know it all". We relish in the purity and whiteness of snow falling from a blue sky, while God says, "At its center, it is a speck of dirt. It is not what is seems."

We preach how the sky is always supposed to be blue. Families are always supposed to have a husband and wife in a life long relationship with respectful obedient children. Singles should be chaste at all times. A mother should never murder her unborn child. We should always forgive, immediately, without hesitation or second thought. Pastors should only preach correct doctrine......and we are technically right. That is the way God has revealed to us it should be.

But the sky does turn red, and it is beautiful, and it is God's plan and design. Marriages break up. Children rebel.  Friendships are destroyed. We can't find it in ourselves to forgive. The pain of life takes longer to heal than we think it should. We can yell at the sky that it needs to turn back to blue with well meant intentions and a desire for restoration, but we aren't going to change it because we don't fully understand it. God is using all the dust, dirt and bent rays of light to His glory. We can call them what they are. We can point out the distortions, but God is using it all to refine, to restore, to give us a glimpse of His unfathomable plan and to demonstrate His glory. We focus on what we see, while God works on the unseen.  Even though the sky isn't blue, He makes it beautiful....

Because God knows something we don't know...

We are wearing sunglasses....

And the sky isn't blue at all.....it is clear...and the blue is only a reflection of Him.