Amazing GRACE

Amazing grace how sweet the sound

That saved a retch like me.

I once was lost, but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see

(Amazing Grace by John Newton)

Grace.  It is the very foundation of the Christian faith. It is what makes Christianity different from every other faith and belief system. It is the major theme through the entire Old and New Testaments. We sing about it, talk about it, and preach about it, yet I think very few of us really understand it. Before getting into what grace is, I want to address what grace is not.

1- It is NOT something we earn: Grace by definition is unmerited favor. There is nothing anyone can do to earn grace. Eph 2:8 tells us God's grace is a gift and not a result of any works. There is no decision you can make, action you can take or ritual you can perform to earn God's grace. We cannot bargain with God for grace. We cannot bribe Him for grace. We cannot influence whether He issues more or less grace. The Ephesians passage goes on to tell us we cannot brag or boast about grace. The grace we have received is despite all we do and we have no cause to boast about it.

2- It is NOT an excuse for sin.  Romans 6 is very clear that grace does not give us a free pass to sin. When we truly understand grace, it frees us from sin. It drives us to flee from sin to be like Christ and His righteousness. Grace never says, "Its ok".  It does always say, "You are forgiven."

3 - It does NOT free us from the consequences of our sin.  Through grace we are spared the punishment of sin - death and separation from God. It does not guarantee we will avoid the consequences of our sin. David was a "man after God's own heart". He committed adultery and murder, and by God's grace retained God's favor. But, his sin led to the death of his infant son and deep divides within his family. We are forgiven, but we must still bear the consequences of our actions. Giving our children grace means we forgive them, we lead them to God who forgives them, but it is not an excuse not to discipline. 

So what is grace?

It is God's unfailing, unchanging, unmerited love for unrighteous, lawless, self-serving humans. The book of Romans contains a long theological discussion of grace.  Chapter 1 begins to establish that righteousness means perfect inward, as well as outward, conformity to Law. The punishment for not obeying even one aspect of the law - death. Yet, the Law was given for one purpose - to point us toward our need for God by defining sin. Romans 3 states "None is righteous, not even one;.....no one does good." Even the most pure outward appearance of righteousness does not meet the standard because it lacks God's understanding.  Then comes Jesus. God's son.  He came to earth as a humble human, subjected to all the temptations and impulses known to man - yet lived a truly pure, righteous life.   He lived a life that completely fulfills the Law.  God takes this perfectly righteous Son, and puts on Him the punishment and torment of our sin. With the price of sin paid, God takes the righteousness of Jesus and gives it to us. That is grace - God giving us a righteousness we do not deserve. This grace is given to us through one means - faith in Jesus death and resurrection. 

So....what does all this have to do with parenting? As Christians, everything!

Grace tells us we cannot do this on our own! We are no better, no more righteous, and no more law abiding on our own, than our children are. Without Christ, we are the blind leading the blind. We can be faithful parents because we trust in the grace and love of God. We can trust that He will give us the wisdom, strength and perseverance to raise our children in a manner that is pleasing to Him. Grace also relieves us of the responsibility of saving our children. We cannot save ourselves. We cannot save our children. Our children's spiritual salvation lies in the hands of God and God alone. Our faith allows us to trust that He has placed each child in our home, when He did and how He did for a reason. It assures us that He loves them even more than we do. He knows every one of our failures, he knows every mistake we will make - and He gave us these children anyway. It is because of grace we are motivated to continually point our children to Christ and to teach them about his love and salvation.

Grace teaches us to parent toward Christ, not toward law. The ultimate goal of our parenting is to raise adults who are fully committed and lost in the love of God. We do not want "good" children, because we know that is impossible. We want God to capture our children's hearts and turn them into young men and women who are devoted to Him. Grace teaches us once they have been captured by God's love they will not be able to help but strive toward "goodness". God gave us law to expose our need for Christ. When we teach our children law, our first goal should be to expose their need for Christ and share with them His forgiveness and acceptance because of His work on the cross. 

Grace teaches us a need for personal discipleship - both for ourselves and for our children. If we are to lead our children to Christ, we must be walking with Him ourselves. We need to be studying His Word, spending time talking with Him, fellow-shipping with other believers, and being held accountable to His teachings. The Church has a very vital role in families by supporting parents in personal growth so they may in turn lead their children. 

God created a wonderful institution in which grace should be clearly visible to our children - marriage. God designed the family as a father and mother who work together to lead their children to Him. All too frequently this does not happen. Next, we want to take a little time to take a look at grace within the context of marriage. But be assured, if your situation does not match the dad+mom+children equation, God in His abounding grace, is still living and working and nothing can hinder His plan!!

'Tis grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved.

How precious did that grace appear,

The hour I first believed.