Art of Education and Worship

Have you ever taken children to an art museum? It can be an incredible experience or a disaster - or both. Art museums are one of my favorite field trips. Watching the look on a child's face the first time a great piece of art jumps out at them is beautiful. The look of wonder and amazement of a heart and soul touched in a way only art can makes the trip worth every ounce of effort.

You can take children to an art museum with little or no preparation, and they can enjoy it. But more often than not it takes some training. They need to know how to quietly look and observe - skills that are sorely lacking in many modern children accustomed to constantly moving images and sounds. Having a basic understanding of history, mythology, and Biblical narrative is helpful as they recognize stories in paint and sculpture.

Visits are also more enjoyable when children can participate in the art. One of my favorite homeschool memories is 8 children sitting in a Medieval ceramics exhibit enthralled in sketching a favorite piece or quietly telling me the "story" they imagine going on in a Renaissance painting. Some of my favorite photographs are of children imitating sculptures.

Repeated trips to the same exhibits deepens their appreciation and wonder, if between visits they have learned more about technique, color, perspective, artist, and style.  Monet's "Waterlilies" is incredible the first time you see it. Come back to it again and again after learning about painting techniques, Monet's home and life, and the use of light and color, and the depth of appreciation for the piece grows!

Few people think to take children to art museums because they think it will be boring. The problem isn't the nature of the museum, or the children, but a lack of preparation and skills needed to participate in the experience. To take a group of children raised on fast paced movies and video games to the quiet, sedentary art gallery is often a disaster waiting to happen. On the other hand, to spend hours studying technique, style, biographies, and facts without ever taking the time to simply enjoy is a sure fire way to undermine developing any love for art.

We tend to approach education, and worship, the same way we approach art.  As education is part of our worship, the two are intertwined. We all err toward one of two extremes. Either we have a check list of skills and knowledge that need to be covered, so we push through covering material and rarely stopping to enjoy the process, or we lead them to emotional experiences with little to no knowledge and understanding of what they are experiencing.

In a classroom, or home school room, we have our lists of topics to be covered, skills to be learned, and books to be read and stress when work isn't covered each week, or age/grade based benchmarks aren't reached "on time". We give our grammar stage students pages of math facts, time-line dates, Latin declensions, scientific terms, and Bible verses to memorize, rarely stopping to let them explore and experience the joy and beauty of it all. Or, we give a lot of experiences, living books, free-open-ended play, and don't require mastery of the skills and facts that equip them to fully understand and develop. Both leave students lacking, preventing them from fully delighting in and participating in what it means to be human.

Our churches do the same thing. We have Sunday mornings (or Saturday nights) filled with emotional experiences, bright lights, talented musicians, and inspirational speakers - but it is all emotional experience with no real hard understanding. Years of "1000 Reasons" and "5 Ways to a Happy Marriage" develop egocentric lethargic souls that have replaced the justice and majesty of God with a Being who is there to serve individual desires. Sunday puts us in the right mood for facing the world the rest of the week. In many other churches Sundays revolve around completing a check-list of skills and knowledge - statements of faith, creeds, catechisms, Old Testament readings, New Testament readings, confessions, sacraments. An hour (or 2) of great doctrine and theology, but lacking in Spirit, awe, and glorying in the Creator. God becomes something impersonal and a Being that needs to be satisfied through Sunday morning ritual. Neither bring us to a place of daily worship and deepening understanding of God.

This is not an attempt to advocate for a specific educational or worship style. They all have their benefits and weaknesses. None is perfect and all can be beneficial. My point is that we tend to forget we are physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive creations. We have been created to know, to understand, and to experience God and creation. We have been commanded to worship in Spirit and in Truth. We are not complete learners or worshippers, until we have participated as cognitive, emotional, and spiritual beings.

As a teacher, don't read about Newton and memorize his laws of motion without taking the time to go bowling - watching how force, mass, and acceleration work and rejoicing in the pins falling down. Don't go bowling and fail to study how the weight of the ball, the force of the throw interact. Struggle with how to figure out what mass and acceleration is needed to get the desired force. Read about Newton, memorize F=MA, go bowling, learn about angles and trajectory, and go back to the bowling alley.

As a christian parent, teacher or pastor, prepare for corporate worship as both a teaching experience and an encounter with God Almighty. Adults and children need to be prepared for corporate worship, and that takes work during the week. Training children in sitting, listening, reading, singing, and doctrine. It means memorizing scripture, learning the catechism, singing hymns and worship choruses, memorizing creeds, and understanding sacraments during the week so they can actively and knowledgeably participate Sunday morning. Corporate worship is "practice" and preparation for heaven - the great marriage feast of Christ and the Church. It is exciting, emotional, and a celebration of who God is and what He has done.  Sunday worship that is an emotional high without theological training leaves us without deepening understanding of God, limiting our capability of celebrating and knowing Him. Sunday worship that is all theology and liturgy without emotional, artistic, heartfelt response leaves us admiring the Kingdom of God without participating in the joy of the Wedding.  Sunday worship should lead us (individually and corporately) to desiring week-day worship and increasing knowledge, which in turn  adds to our Sunday morning worship - a cycle that ultimately prepares us for Heaven.  True worship develops the heart, soul, and mind by using both our cognitive understanding and our affective sensory, bodily experiences.

How are you growing in Spirit and in Truth? How are you leading your children in understanding, participating in, and experiencing the Creator and creation? Are you going to the museum? Are you primarily understanding the Art? Are you primarily experiencing the Art? or Are you striving for both, for being a complete human - heart, soul, and mind? 

Making a Plan

This time every year homeschool moms everywhere are beginning the process of planning for the next school year. For the fortunate few, it will be as easy as getting the next book, the next level, the next package. For many of us, there will be tweeking, re-assessing levels, and switching curricula. Then there are those years where everything gets throws out the window and you start from scratch. For me, it is all 3 this time around. Every year I get multiple messages asking how I do it. How do you plan an educational program for multiple children at multiple levels, meeting everyone's needs, and not going crazy yourself.

The short answer: you can't. Just ask my family - I went crazy years ago. We just all expect Mom's crazy to be "normal" now.

I thought I'd take some time to outline what I do, why, and some of what has worked for us. Just keep in mind that your family and your personality are not mine, so mimicking what I do probably won't work as well for you!

1) Pray. Pray. and Pray some more. That may seem obvious, but it is easy to forget. Or, more likely, to drop that aspect at some step in the process. I have found I need to constantly go back to my children's Creator for wisdom. He knows them better than I do. He sees the future. He sees resources and opportunities that would never cross my mind. I go back to Him before, during, and after each step in the process.

2) Evaluate - what worked and what didn't. What brought joy? What brought frustration? What was beautiful? What led to best moments of the year? What led to the worse? It may be curriculum, circumstance, attitudes, skills, or the unexpected moments of life, but you need to really look at how the big picture and each small component worked together. Talk to each child. Talk to your spouse. Talk to others who have observed you and your family. Evaluate finances and how much you can spend. Talk to God. Look at what life is bringing and factors you will need to work around.
We have a big year of change ahead of us - a child leaving for college, a move (but we won't know where until September or later), Dad possibly switching jobs twice but allowing him to be home more, 1 moving into high school, 1 becoming an independent reader and writer, 1 showing signs of transitioning into rhetoric thinking, 1 new dialectic student. 

3) Set Goals - what needs to be accomplished this next year. Absolutely look at academics - skills that have improved, subjects that were over looked, large leaps that were made. But, also look at social, spiritual, and emotional needs. You may have a child who just needs a year of successes. There may be one who needs a major challenge. Set goals for each child and for the entire family. Don't forget to set a target budget.
As a family, we want to see Christ more fully and to see Him in everything. All the children need to work on writing skills. They also need high-order thinking skills in math and literature. L needs to be challenged more. O needs frequent small successes to build confidence. R needs to take more ownership in her learning to build excitement and self-motivation. The number of books and supplies needs to be minimal to keep the packing and moving process simple. Budget needs to be low to prepare for massive expenses when we return to the States. 

4) Organize - find a way to organize your plan. There are a lot of pre-made resources out there. I have found them to inadequate for my needs, so I've created my own Excel spreadsheet. It make minor changes year to year to accommodate for changes subjects (and number of students), but the basic content remains the same. I list each subject with room to record what material I will be using and its retail cost (usually from the publisher's website). I've formatted Excel so it calculates the total retail cost per child, and for the entire school. Next to retail cost is a place to enter my actual cost.  I try to take advantage of sales, used materials, and discounts, and compare multiple vendors, so I can get the best price I can. I include shipping charges associated with any purchase. Those can really add up after a while if I'm not careful! All this give me a quick way to record what I have purchased and spent. It really cut down on double purchases, or missing material the first week of school!

5) Start Curriculum Planning - I always begin with talking with the children - as a group and one-on-one. This is their education and they need to have input as to what they like, what they don't like, what they would like to do or not do. This is especially important with middle and high schoolers! I actually have my high schoolers do some of their own research and choose some of their own material. I get the final say, but I take their opinions very seriously and make sure I have a good explainable reason when I choose something different than they want. (Studying math is not negotiable, how we do it may be.)  The first things to go into the spreadsheet are those things I know will not be changing.  As I go through each child and each subject, I look first at my goals and second at the time commitment it will require from me.First is always figuring out WHAT CAN I COMBINE. History, science, and literature are usually the easiest. There have been years I've been able to combine children in writing, grammar, and Latin. I've never combined math, but I know families who have done it successfully. Don't have more going than you absolutely need to! This becomes the hardest part - finding resources that meet my goals for each child, respect my time limitations, and tailoring for individual learning styles and preferences. Homeschool boards, Rainbow Resources, The Well Trained Mind, and Google are my best friends. I have my favorite publishers, so I tend to go there first and check their store and blogs for new material. When we were stateside, Homeschool conventions were a great way to find new material - and sometimes my best finds were in that small vendor no one else was going to.   As you go through, be sure to record supplemental resources (maps, tests, literature guides, etc..)  Re-evaluate the entire plan as you add in each subject. I will use cells below the actually planning grid to make notes and list alternatives as I go along. This is why I love using Excel - it is very easy to move and change the plan as I work.  Remember to pray through each step and each decision. I often feel as if I'm texting God through the entire process, (even if it is simply "HELP!") but He does respond!
We want more independent learning and for each child to take more ownership of their education - so we are leaving Tapestry of Grace and following The Well Trained Mind very closely for history and literature. There are also fewer books to put into checked baggage during our move. Everyone loves Math-U-See, but we are adding Beast Academy for the problem solving skills. B should be reading independently and copywork she can do while sitting next to me, so I can spend more time one-on-one with writing with other children - so we can move to Writing with Skill and Writing and Rhetoric. Since we are moving to a Great Books literature style, I added a second sheet with my list for each level.   
6) Start planning your days - Read teacher's manuals - even if you've used material before! Yes they can be boring, but more often than not, I find when parents have problems with a curriculum it's because they haven't learned how to use it. Make a curriculum work for you, but know how it is intended to work and why. I use a lot of materials based on developmental skills, so the method is just as important as the content.  I recommend doing that early so if you find it isn't what you thought or it isn't going to work, you can change plans sooner rather than later. I like having all my teacher's manuals in hand by the time we hit the last 8 weeks of the current school year.  Plan how you will keep each child accountable. This changes every year for us. Look at pre-made student planners, on-line planners, ask friends what they do. It doesn't have to be complicated. I didn't use written plans at all when everyone was little. We had daily and weekly routines with curriculum that was open and go. note: I don't plan for breaks or according to the calendar, with the exception of Christmas. School is our priority at all times, but we don't work when Daddy can be home - and I don't always know when that will be. I find we need a break every 6-8 weeks or so, but life sometime demands more, or less. We break when we need to, no matter what the calendar says. That is why I don't use a dated planner. I want the freedom to take off when we need to, and not need to replan.

Next school year we are moving from me giving them daily assignments, to them filling in what they have done each day. Each child will be given a blank planner and a weekly routine - this is what must be done each week or day. They will fill in what they did (this is part of the independence and ownership plan). For example - each week my Dialectic students will know they have to: put dates into a time-line, put places and events onto a map, read the assigned pages, create an outline of their readings, write a 1 page summary, do additional research on anything they read about, and complete a project of their choice. Daily they must work on math for 45 minutes, Latin for 30 minutes, and Literature for 60 minutes - we keep those subjects self paced, not book driven. I am putting my own weekly schedule together for the entire year, with readings and content for each subject and each child.  When it is completed I will have a 2 day spread for each week of school with reading assignments, supplies needed,  and a place for my own notes. The back will include a running literature list for each child, so when they complete one book, they can move on to the next. Each child will check my book to get their weekly assignments. I have started simply looking at the number of chapters in each spine or text, dividing by 36, and filling in each week. I find I need to plan the entire year head of time. I don't date anything, to free us from the calendar when life happens, but I also don't have to do weekly planning. I do need to tweek things now and then, but the curriculum I've chosen allows a lot of self-pacing, so "keeping up" is rarely an issue. 

7) Gather supplies. We are now in a position where I can usually gather everything I need for a year or semester at one time.  I have found the more I have before the year begins, the more likely things are to get done. This is especially true with science experiments, history projects, and art. We haven't always been able to do this, so then I made weekly or monthly lists and picked supplies up with groceries.  I spend the weeks before we start a new school year gathering as much as I can, taking advantage of sales and bulk pricing. I have shelves and tubs dedicated to art and science supplies, so they are always easily available. (I even have a tub with pennies, because you know when the chemistry book calls for them I'm out of change!) I try to stock up on crayons, pencils, pens, erasers, and paper for the entire year. The more I can do ahead of time, the more smoothly everything runs - especially when life happens and I don't have time to plan for the next week, or day, of school. As much as you can, get good quality supplies. Beeswax crayons, or even Crayola, last longer and give better results than the cheap RoseArt or dollar store. In the long run, the extra initial expense will save you money. (Yes, I am that Mom in front of you at Walmart with 50 boxes of Ticonderoga pencils when they are on sale!) I buy boxes of copy paper, multiple sets of toner for printers, bulk rubber bands and paper clips - anything I can store to have on hand "just in case".

8) Rest - Part of my yearly planning routine is reading "Teaching from Rest" by Sarah Mackenzie, beginning to pre-read literature at the pool, and recharging myself. Don't forget to plan your own time and space to relax. I now have a running list of books I need to read for the kids' education and those I want to read for myself. When I start reading before the school year, I get to take the time to really enjoy the great literature the children are reading. During the school year, a book from one list or another is almost always in my bag, ready to pick up and read whenever I have a down moment. "Teaching from Rest" helps me start with the right perspective. I also have a spiritual plan for myself - what I am studying, how, and what I need to do that.

I hope this helps. It is a lot of work, but being well prepared helps the school year run much more smoothly. Each year the process is a little easier as I learn what works for us and each child.

Happy Planning!

Legos, Faith, and Education: Building Foundations that Can't be Shaken

Like many families, Legos are very popular in our house. Some of our children enjoy following directions to build a set. Others prefer making whatever pops into their heads at the time, using whatever pieces are on hand. Often, they go back and forth between the two.  There are indefinte ways to play with them, all which have the possibility of resulting in triumphs or failures. But, all require an understanding of both the blocks themselves, how they relate, and a plan in order to produce anything.

Pretend for a minute I hand my 11 year old the Millennium Falcon Lego kit. But, I take all 1,254 pieces out of their bags, remove the instructions, throw out the box, and tell him, "Put it together."  He may be able to get bits and pieces of it together, but putting together a complete Falcon is close to impossible.

Now pretend I hand him the same kit, pieces in bags, instructions ready to go, but give him glasses that prevent him from seeing color, shape, and size. It isn't going to be any more possible for him to be successful!

He must have an understanding of each individual Lego, plus be able to follow directions to put it together.  Each individual Lego a fact. They have definite shape, size, and color that are vital to building anything functional. The directions are the concepts - how each piece fits in relation to the whole to make it work.

From the moment of conception, we are building foundations and walls on which to build lives. Each fact learned, each experience, creates another block with which to build those foundations and walls, but without something to hold them together and directions on how to put them together, they lie in useless piles or unstable structures which will eventually fail. Some will be lost. Others will be damaged. We can build with those bricks, but if they are not glued together with a binding agent, at some point something is going to knock it down.  The only way to maintain each brick is to integrate it into a master plan, and mortar it into place. You cannot build with only bricks. You cannot build with only directions. You cannot build with only mortar. A solid structure requires all 3 masterfully used at the same time.

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.  Colossians 1: 16-17 ESV

As Christians we know there is only one thing that holds everything together - God. He is the master builder who not just designed an eternal plan, but created each individual brick in that plan and holds it together in Himself.  He created each individual animal, plant, rock, person, event, and law with purpose. Pull one of those out of context, and the entire picture falls apart. Trying to look at the entire picture without understanding the elements that work together to make it leaves an impression of a work much less amazing than it is. You can memorize every fact in the picture and loose the perfection of the work itself.  Our life is a process of learning to gaze at, worship, and understand the Master Builder through his work.  

So what does this look like?  My youngest child is learning to read, beginning to write, learning about the person and work of Jesus, reading about modern history, experimenting with physics, and adding and subtracting. There are a lot of moving pieces. It would be easy to focus on memorization. Memorize a time-line, some definitions, addition facts, scripture verses, famous quotes, bits of poetry and say "We will put it all together when she is older". It would also be easy to simply read the stories, do fun experiments, pretend to be WWII soldiers, work with the math manipulatives, and hope she remembers the facts through the concepts. In a rare, Providential moment, we had it all come together this week. Some was planned by me or curriculum. Mostly it was orchestrated by God himself - but I had to be looking for the big picture. We've been studying light in science. She has had to memorize visible light, ROY G BIV. In grammar she's been memorizing Robert Louis Stevenson's poem "My Shadow". History we are looking at Ghandi and the conflicts between Hindu and Muslim Indians. In Bible, she is focusing on the teachings of Christ. My job, is to not just make sure she sees each piece, but how it all works together - not an easy task!  She is memorizing John 8: 12 where Jesus talks about being the Light of the World  The connection to science was easy! Just as the sun gives us light to live and move, Jesus lights up a world filled with darkness. He not only created ROY G BIV to provide life to earth, but he gives us life to honor and serve God.

Me - Lets work on John 8:12 "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life". What does that mean?

B - Jesus is our light! He saves us from the dark.
Me - Do you know why he said that?

B - No

Me - Lets look at what happens right before this verse. The Pharisees bring to Jesus a woman they caught doing something very bad. They remind Jesus that God's law demands that she be stoned to death. They ask Jesus what they should do with her. What do you think Jesus says?
B - They need to stone her. That is what God's law says.
Me - It is, but why did Jesus come.
B - To save us from sin.
Me - If Jesus stones her, is he saving her?
B - Oh - no. But how can he obey God and save her?

Me - Jesus told the Pharisees, "If any of you have never sinned, you can throw the first stone."  Was there anyone there who had never sinned?

B - No

Me - Are you sure? No one there had lived a perfect life?
Be - Oh! Jesus. So Jesus stoned her.

Me - Jesus was the only one left. He made everyone else realize they were guilty and that they deserved to be stoned too. But, even though God's law said everyone except him should be stoned, he didn't do it.

B - What?! But that is God's law.
Me - Jesus looked at that woman, and said, "You are forgiven. Go, and don't sin any more."

B - Wow! 

Me - Jesus knew he was going to pay the death penalty for her sin. So he could satisfy God's Law and save the woman. So why does he talk about being the Light of the World right after this.
B - Oh! Because he took away the woman's dark sin and gave her light instead!
Me - Yes! He also showed his light on the Pharisees sin, and showed them that they need a Savior too. Just like visible light of the rainbow shows many different things, Jesus's light shows many things. Our sins are shadows that "go in and out with me; And what can be the use of them is more than I can see" (B giggles). But Jesus is the light that chases the shadows away because he took the death we deserve. It also shows where we are making shadows and where we need to ask for forgiveness.  How do you think the woman felt? What do you think she did?

B - She was happy and went and told everyone! 

Me - I'm sure she did. You see when Jesus's light chases away our sin, it makes us so happy we need to tell others. We talked about how Muslims and Hindus fought over India and a lot of people died. Ghandi told them fighting was not the way to solve their problems and they need to just get along. They tried to divide the country, but that just made the fighting worse. Everything people tried made it worse. Instead of telling people to do good things, Jesus's light makes us do good things. His light reminds us of our own sin, so we turn away from judging others. Instead of dividing us, Jesus brings us together.

B - So why didn't someone just go to India and tell them about Jesus?  Then they would have Jesus light and stop fighting!

She ran off and was done at that point - but this Mommy's heart rejoiced after her. She got the big picture. Somewhere inside of her, every time she sees a rainbow, or a shadow, or hears the story of the woman caught in adultery, or hears reports of war, she will hear the gospel. She is beginning to see that everything from science, to history, to poetry, points to God who holds it all together. We could have only worked on memorizing facts. We could have focused on stories and concepts. But when we brought it all together it mortared together pieces of a strong foundation that by God's grace and Spirit will never be shaken.

Mind-Soul Connection: The Neglected Mind is a Neglected Soul

The true springs up in the same soil as the good: their roots communicate. Broken from the common root and therefore less in contact with the soil, one or the other suffers; the soul grows anemic or the mind wilts. On the contrary, by feeding the mind on truth one enlightens the conscience, by fostering good one guides knowledge.

- A.J. Sertillanges "The Intellectual Life"

More often than not this blog springs from my own life - my struggles, my learning, my musings.  Recently it has often come from my own exploration of how Classical learning relates to everyday life. Its been a while since I've written anything, mostly because the last couple months have been an internal struggle with my current text - and the realities of my life. 

Originally published in 1948 and written by a devout conservative Catholic, I knew going into "The Intellectual Life" there were bound to be cultural and theological differences. That is simply the nature of reading any work - you take the good with the bad; you allow those things with which you disagree to strengthen and challenge you, learning from them, and humbly tweak where you may fall short. There were minor points I had no issues overlooking. I actually greatly enjoyed most of what he had to say and had pages of notes - until I hit page 44:

"Whether she achieve something herself or through her husband, what does it matter? She must still achieve since she is but one flesh with him who achieves. Without needing to be herself an intellectual, still less a woman of letters or a bluestocking, she can produce much by helping her husband to produce....."

I practically threw my tablet across the room. Had it been in paperback form, I probably would have. That hit a nerve - one that was more raw than I had realized. I can usually handle patriarchal ideals within their historical and cultural context - but this had me down right angry. I put down the tablet, and didn't open the book back up for days while I fumed. I also did some soul searching - Why had it hit so hard? What about that statement evoked such a strong response?

The answer was really quite simple - because it hit at exactly the underlying issue I've had in many areas of life. I love my family. I love my husband and children, and like most woman will do anything for them. It has been my choice to give up my career to support my husband's, and forgoing my formal education to educate my children. I know I am doing what I need to do right now and I am happy to do it. In spite of that, I've been slowly dying inside. Each year brings more feelings of being trapped, being unappreciated, and feeling guilty for feeling that way. Our Christian family speakers, bloggers, and writers tell of how we must find joy in the day-to-day grind of being a wife and mother. Homeschool advocates talk about enjoying every minute of this journey - yet each passing year, month, and day that becomes harder and harder. I've been dying, strangling, gasping for air while doing all the things I'm "supposed" to be doing. 

And I'm not the only one. Weekly, sometimes daily, I talk to other moms, especially homeschooling Moms who feel the same way.  We are constantly met with encouragement to "find joy", "its only temporary", "some day you will look back....", "but you are doing such a great job".  We go home to struggle through another week....another month....another year. 

A year ago I began a journey back into an intellectual life. When I picked up that first book to read for myself - not to help with school, church, children, marriage - I couldn't put it down. I felt like a man who had been without water for days who finally found a cool well. I found my heart and my soul reviving in a way I had forgotten it was capable of living. Through the summer I spent my afternoons reading great philosophical works and listening to amazing teachers. But, once we got back to a full homeschool schedule, I had to stop, again. There just wasn't time for my "extra" work on top of the jobs of homemaker, wife, educator, and mom, and I slowly began sinking back into a spiritual asthma - gasping for air to breath.

Its been the last month when the heart of the issue has started coming together. My marriage hit a large bump that has us re-evaluating and discussing hard issues - including my deteriorating mental and spiritual state. A simple comment from my oldest about her Nietzsche Philosophy assignment led to a discussion about the Westminster Shorter Catechism question 1: "What is the primary purpose of man? The primary purpose of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." She and I discussed how the only way to find joy and contentment is to satisfy our created nature - which is to glorify God. The moment we do something to make ourselves feel good, even if we do it to feel good about serving God, we are no longer serving God, but ourselves - and thus not fulfilling our purpose.  It was a comment a friend made several days later about "finding joy in homemaking" that got me thinking.... Where does this joy come from? Can we find it? and Why are so many moms lacking it?

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. It comes from the Spirit's work in our heart and soul. It is a product of God's work on our hearts. It isn't something we can find. It isn't something we can produce on our own. In order to produce that fruit we must be connected to the root. We need the nurishment and support of the Root in order to produce anything. If we aren't producing fruit, then we are not connected to the life giving sustenance that enables production.  Jesus calls himself that root and it is the Holy Spirit takes that nourishment and produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.  When we tell moms to "find joy" or to "be patient" we are missing the root problem! If those things are not evident in a Christian woman, it is because she is cut off. Something is broken with her connection to Christ. 

So, how do we stay connected to Christ? Jesus answers that in Matthew 23:37 when he refers back to the first Commandment: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 

What is our primary purpose? To Glorify God.
How do we do that? By loving him with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind.

It was that last item that hit me - All our mind. The conservative church is very good at encouraging women to love God with all their heart and soul. We have "women's bible studies" that appeal to the emotions and heart. We have "women's outreaches" where we make women feel good about what they are doing and roles they are playing. It is that last part "all our mind" that is neglected. Like Sertillanges, the conservative church, and evangelical theology, often inadvertently make the assumption that a Titus 2 woman can live her intellectual life through her husband. The problem?  I am not my husband. My heart and soul do not belong to my husband. My relationship with God effects my relationship with my husband, but it is my relationship with God - not his.  His intellectual life, his efforts to love God with his mind do not take the place of my intellectual life and my efforts to love God with my mind. I am a separate, unique, child of God, called by His name, created in his image - and my mind must be just as trained for God as my husband's. 

This last part came to me as we were discussing the topic of women's ordination. Before I knew what I was saying, I told my husband, "I don't mind the idea that maybe I shouldn't preach. I don't mind that maybe I should not have an ordained leadership role in the church. I mind being treated as if I am incapable of it. Too often, that is how the church treats woman - as if because we don't hold those roles, we are incapable of it and it is unnecessary for us to have the same training, understanding, and discussions as men." In that moment, I felt my heart and soul sing as my mind made the missing connection. In putting aside my personal intellectual life, I had put aside one of the necessary ways I need to love God. There can be no joy where we are not fulfilling our created purpose, and my mind has been created to learn, grow, think, wrestle, and understand God. My heart and my soul are not enough. I tell my children we educate our minds to shape our souls, but had completely failed to recognize I need the same thing. 

Home, work, school, and marriage put a heavy load on the shoulders of homeschooling women. There is little time in the day for her to care for her basic needs of food and clothing, no less spiritual and intellectual growth. Yet, those are the areas many, if not most, churches and families neglect. We stick women in 2 hours, once a week, feel-good, practical "Bible studies" (with childcare) and pat ourselves on the back for meeting her needs. Family devotions, christian music in the house, maybe a podcast or 2, and she should be good to go. In healthier families, Mom may even get an hour or so once a week to get out on her own. It isn't enough! 

I don't know if anyone will make it this far. This has been long. I don't normally address men - but if even one husband can hear this, it will be worthwhile. If your wife can't find joy, if she is short tempered, if she isn't exhibiting the Fruits of the Spirit - listen to her. Love her as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her. She is cut off from her Root. Do not expect her to demonstrate Fruit if you are not working with her, enabling her, and helping her to stay connected to the Root for her own heart, soul, and mind.  If you have time for uninterrupted study, for contemplation, for personal growth, and she does not, your family is not working. Your marriage is failing her.   She is starving, and those short tempers, the sadness, and the tears are the cries of a dying woman. 

A couple days ago I picked-up "The Intellectual Life Again". This time I could read it with the attention and wisdom it deserves. I can look past the double-standard and know "I was created for this too". I am making changes. We are making changes.  The mail this week should bring our next read (the "our" is important, 1st person plural, for both husband and wife) - a book we discovered has been on both of our reading lists.  I can feel the life beginning to return. I am beginning to rediscover the joy of the mundane day-to-day tasks and the patience for homeschooling life. This dying soul is reviving with intellectual life. 

"God is our only Master...It is not with the eyes, nor with the ears, that one hears a great saying, it is with a soul on the level of what is revealed to it, with an intelligence illuminated by One and the same Light."  - A.J. Sertillanges "The Intellectual Life"

The Dialectic Christian and the Educational Virtue of Humility

It seems to be an everyday occurrence around here these days. The conversation usually goes something like this:

Mom:
You need to go back and correct these questions.

pre-teen:
Why?! I gave you answers. That's how I saw it. It isn't my fault if you think its wrong. 

Mom:
Truth doesn't change just because you want it to. Opinions change. Perceptions change. But real Truth never changes. You need to decide if you are going to insist on ignoring what is true,  lying to yourself, and forming opinions and perceptions based on those lies; or if you are going to show some humility, learn what is Truth, and develop informed, reasoned, and wise options and perspective. 

In all honesty - that is how the conversation goes in my better moments. Often it includes phrases like: "I'm not arguing with you. It's wrong and there are no friends or screen time until it is fixed." or "You are not the President. You cannot decide something is fake just because you don't like it." I often don't have a lot of patience with the black-and-white rational of the dialectic student!


This is why classical education teaches logic and reasoning during middle school -  identifying logical fallacies and training the brain to rule the heart while the heart informs the brain. We begin pushing students to look at historical, literary, and philosophical context, understanding that the student's experience is different from an author's, thus what he brings to a text is different from what the intent of an author may have been. A Christian American 21st century 13 year old sitting in his living room is going to read "Sir Gwain and the Green Knight" very differently than how an English medieval peasant would have first heard it told around a campfire.

It is also why the first of the educational virtues is humility. Especially within Christian Classical education, we recognize that the only way to learn, to increase in wisdom and understanding, is to recognize I am limited in experience, understanding, and reasoning.  The journey to Truth will be a life-long endevour of adjusting my perceptions, beliefs, and thinking.  If I am to understand what is true, I must first admit I could be wrong.  The way I read something, what I observe, my perception, my reasoning are all limited. I can know that Truth, Goodness, and Beauty ultimately lie in the Trinity, but how I understand and recognize it will be limited and flawed until I meet God face-to-face. I need those who have gone before me and those who have greater wisdom and understanding to refine, challenge, and encourage me.

I think as a Christian educator, one of the hardest parts is recognizing when this dialectic thinking has infiltrated my own beliefs. How often to do I come to a text, or even to Scripture, with the presupposition that I have a full grasp on what is True? If I'm honest - too often. Most of the time, my heart and my mind are not fully open to the possibility that I could be misunderstanding the depths of the mind of God. How often do I read Scripture and try to rationalize away something that makes me uncomfortable?  How often do I read into a text what I want to see - even if it conflicts with other parts of Scripture? We all do it. We cannot fully comprehend the mind of God, but if I don't come from a place of humility, I cannot be changed.

If I am to grow I must ask myself:

Do I allow my beliefs to be challenged?
Do I seek to have my understanding challenged?
Do I listen to some one else's point of view, try to see where they are coming from, and glean even the smallest nuggets of Truth and wisdom that may be there? Or, do I listen to argue back and prove my own (obviously) greater understanding?
Can I look at conflicts within Scripture, and wrestle with them; or, do I quickly rationalize it away with "What God really means is...." or "It's a cultural thing." or "There really isn't a conflict"? 
Do I study the context of my favorite verse, or am I satisfied that I can quote it whenever it meets my needs?

Daily, while struggling to teach and mentor my dialectic children, if I am being truly honest, more often than not, they are God's means of teaching and mentoring me more than anything. They are one of God's many means of holding a mirror up to my eyes, and letting me glimpse into my own heart. They are leading me toward more humility, and thus closer to Him.

The Gospel of Trick-or-Treat: Finding Truth, Goodness and Beauty in the Dark

Last night I sat on my front stoop watching our normally quiet neighborhood team with people. All shapes, sizes, genders, nationalities, and abilities filled the sidewalks with laughter (and the occasional scream). As the sun set behind me, my little cul-de-sac became so dark I often could not see the trick-or-treaters until they were in front of the house. In 2 hours, I had over 300 people come to my door. 

During a lull in candy-giving, I watched what was going on. In this journey I've been on to re-discover "education", I've been consistently brought back to Phillipians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (ESV)

Often we talk about this verse as a command to only deal with those things that are Good, True, and Beautiful. Training to love Truth, Goodness, and Beauty is one of the primary goals of a classical Christian education. But what if instead of a command to only surround oneself with the beautiful, it is a command to find what is true, what is good, and what is beautiful within all of creation, history, science, and culture?  When we look within the entire context of Scripture, we are told to live in the world, but not be of it; to let our light shine in the darkness.  We cannot be a light to a dark world if we do not engage and go into the darkness.  Hiding from, or avoiding, all darkness effectively hides our light under a basket.  We are not called to avoid the darkness, but to go into it and shine the Light of the Gospel. In order to do that, we must be able to see the Gospel in even the darkest of places. Maybe the idea of Phillipians 4 is not to hide, but to search for where God is revealing Himself through the people, cultures, and nature He has created. It is walking through the darkest and most evil this world has to offer, and seeing the fingerprint of God. 

In those few quiet moments on my front step, I wondered, "Where do I see the gospel?". If God is truly the God of all creation, the director of history, the creator of all mankind, then His mark must be on everything - even trick-or-treating. Then I saw it:

In the black darkness of my street were people from all walks of life, all nations, many languages searching for the light -  because in the light they would find grace. The light of each porch was a signal that here a door was open to any who would walk through, and grace would be given, in equal measure, to all who asked. It didn't matter who you were, who you were trying to be, what you had done - grace would be freely given.  All those people searching for unmerited favor. All those children drawn to the light, almost despite themselves. All those people trying to be something they weren't, yet receiving love despite appearances. Even in the midst of traditions rooted in pagan ritual, the Gospel was being acted out. In what Satan intended for evil, God demonstrates his love. 

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in land of deep darkness, on them has light shone. (Isaiah 9:2)

 In the last century Christian education has become more an endevour to teach how to avoid evil than one of training to recognize the Truth, Goodness, and Beauty of God. It trains to fear evil, instead of resting in the strength, grace, love, and justice of our Savior. It tells our children to run from temptation in their own strength, instead of recognizing where God has already won the battle, has completed their redemption, and is actively working on their sanctification. This isn't to say that wisdom and discernment is not part of it, but that those things come when we are so in love with Love Incarnate, that we can see Him everywhere.

I teach Latin, Math, Logic, Grammar, Literature, History, and Science to my children not just to learn about the world, but so they can engage the world for Christ.  My heart's desire for them has become that they may be able to recognize, share, reveal, and explain the Gospel in any and every situation. That takes training in first of all what the root of all Truth, Goodness, and Beauty is, but also in using logic, reasoning, wisdom, and discernment to reveal Love where we don't expect to find Him. It is teaching them to recognize that even in those things that seem to be fully corrupted by sin, the grace and love of God is shining.

Our children are growing up in scary times. The world around us seems to be falling farther and farther away from peace and stability. They have a tough road ahead of them. It our job to equip them to be the light and to find the Light in the midst of the darkness....and maybe that begins with stepping out our own front door, into the darkness, and asking them, "Where do you see the Gospel?". 

Christian Idolatry - Flags and Guns

I've been putting off writing this for days. I don't want to. It hits too close to home and is forcing me to look at myself in ways I really don't want to. But, I'm driven to and I think it is something our nation, and the American Church, needs to confront in light of current events.

For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised;

he is to be feared above all gods.

For the gods of the peoples are worthless idols,

but the LORD made the heavens.

Psalm 96: 4-5 (ESV)

The heart of all sin is idolatry - putting something or someone in God's place. This passage is in the middle of a Psalm extolling God's glory to the nations. "The gods of the people are worthless idols" led me to thinking - What are my idols and how do I know what my idols are?

Idolatry is characterized by one major attribute - anger. Anger tells us something is wrong. Something in our passions is out of sorts or being challenged. Jesus demonstrates righteous anger when he overthrows the money changers in the temple. His anger is kindled out of the defamation of God's House and God's name. The only time he uses strong language is in response to the Pharisees' abuse of God's Word.   Jesus' passion, His priority, is God's glory - and seeing it tarnished ignites the only violent outbursts we see from him in Scripture. His unfair trial, his disciples' betrayal, his wrongful crucifixion, the prostitute's sin, the tax collector's theft, the Roman soldiers' oppression of the Jews - none of that sparks His anger. It is only the tarnishing of God's name that brings him to anger. In every other infraction, He turns the attention of the sinner to the Redeemer. Even on the cross, he pointed those who were killing him, to God the Father. God is His God.

But how about me? What makes me angry, and when I am angry what is my goal? 

Too often, most of the time, it has nothing to do with God. Something else is provoking my heart to feel my priorities, my gods, are being threatened. Maybe it is a child's pride conflicting with my own. Often it is because my plan isn't working, or others aren't following it. Sometimes it is because someone is challenging decisions I have made or positions I hold, and because I have allowed my identity to be wrapped up in those, I take it personally.  It sparks anger that other's are not bowing to my god.

Recent events have brought me to my knees in grief over our national gods - especially among fellow believers. Look at what we get angry about and who we blame. More importantly, what we don't do and say.  How much time have we spent discussing how a flag should be honored? Sit, kneel, stand. We talk about respecting the Constitution, honoring veterans, and nationalism, but how often have we used this as an opportunity to express our longing for God's Kingdom? That every knee that bows is a longing for a Nation, a Kingdom, that will never fail ruled by One who will never let us down. How many memes, editorials, tweets, and Facebook statuses have been shared that make fun of or deride an individual? Who, or what, are we really prioritizing? Is it a nation, or a soul in need of its Savior? What is our god?

How about politicians and celebrities?  When your favorite president or community leader is criticized, do you get angry, or do you seek God's glory? Do you like and share social media that idealizes a human, or do you seek God's face?  When confronted with someone from "the other side", do you criticize, judge, and humiliate another human created in God's image, or do you "seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness"?

When scores of people are killed and injured at a concert, do you place blame on a person, or a weapon, or a law, or the lack of a law - or do you fall at the feet of God and lead those around you to His footstool?

When confronted with opposing views of marriage, education, family planning, social justice, immigration, etc, etc, do you bring individuals to the foot of the cross with love, grace, humility, and compassion? Too often, what I see, what I do, are at their very core, attempts to control and protect idols. We are not pointing to the glory of the One True God. I struggle against being crucified with Christ, so that I may live instead of Him living in me.

We have an idolatry problem. We fall at the feet of a flag, a nation, a legal document, an ideology, a false sense of security - trying to control people God wants to free.  America will one day fall. Presidents and community leaders will die. Freedoms will come and go - but the Kingdom of God will remain forever.

Ascribe to the LORD, O families of the peoples,

ascribe to the LORD glory and strength!

Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;

bring an offering, and come into his courts!

Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness;

tremble before him, all the earth!

Say among the nations, "The Lord reigns!"

Psalm 96: 7-10a (ESV)