Vision Issues

It is the beginning of the school year in our household. New books, pencils, crayons, notebooks and..... vision screenings. We head into each school year having each child's vision checked to ensure they can read, write and view with physical clarity. (There are days I think we need to have hearing checked too, but that is another issue!)  It is very challenging to learn and grow in knowledge and understanding if the world is not in focus.

Heading into the optometrist, we knew several children were struggling with their vision. It didn't come a surprise given both their parents have worn glasses since late elementary school. The last several months have come with consistent complaints about headaches, tired eyes, not being able to read signs and difficulty focusing - all of the typical signs of vision issues. Sure enough, we walked out with 4 new prescriptions and, the big surprise, a referral to a specialist.

A week later, the new glasses were picked up. The van was full of exclamations of:

"I can read the signs!"

"Wait, I didn't know that was there!"

"Everything is so.....big."

"The world is so bright!"

"The world is so bright." That was the one that hit me. Looking through eyes that do not correctly refract and interpret light, the world looks dark and full of shadows. Blobs pass by us and we never truly see the people and creation in our world. It grieved me when I realized all my children had been missing. I also rejoiced that they could now more fully enjoy the life God has given them.  It reminded me of Isaiah 9:2 - a prophesy that Jesus later quotes in Matthew 4.

The people who walked in darkness

have seen a great light; 

those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,

on them has light shown. (ESV)

Scripture is full of Light versus Dark imagery. From Genesis 1 through Revelation we see a world that God created to be bright and full of light, but has been plunged into shadowy darkness by sin. The story of Man is one of attempting to find light in a world riddled with the darkness of evil, failure, disease, and hatred. The story of God is how He gives us that Light, redeems the darkness of mankind and creates a new world bright with hope, love, forgiveness and joy. 

For some people, it is obvious to them, and others, that they are missing something. They spend much time and energy attempting to "see" correctly. They attempt to move closer to God through good works, much like my children would hold books closer to read. They "squint", or try to change their vision, through addictions and fantasy. Others just embrace the darkness, telling themselves and others that what they see is all there is, so just make the best of it. 

Then there are those people, and those times, like my son. He is an active, rambunctious 8 year old boy. Like most boys his age, he has a hard time sitting still and focusing. His body has been made for movement and physical labor, so sitting and working on reading and multiple digit multiplication is tedious and painful. When math became a daily struggle, we chalked it up to being an 8 year old who would rather be playing soccer or making Lego superheros, than plowing through rows of numbers. We have him run when he can't sit still, break assignments up into smaller chunks, use graph paper to help with place value and even discipline with the hope of helping him gain more self control.  Even with the accommodations and aids, math is a daily struggle. Imagine our surprise when we were told, that this child who has never complained about his sight,  has eyes which do not track together - making reading and focusing very difficult. The optometrist confirmed that while part of his issue with math is probably just being 8, he is physically incapable of focusing on columns of numbers. His eyes have to work so hard to move around a page, that attempting to "carry a ten" or "keep numbers in their place value" may be more than his brain can handle. 

Our girls' vision issues were obvious and easily corrected with glasses. As Christians, it can be very obvious to us that the world needs the corrective assistance of the Holy Spirit. In a world so full of hatred and sin we long for the day when "every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess" - and all will see the glory of God. We can look at nations and neighbors and say, "If they would only believe". We witness and evangelize with the hope that just one more person will see the Light. We study the Bible, pray and go to church with the faith that those things will allow us to see more clearly. 

So often though we miss the less obvious "vision" issues - especially in ourselves. We allow ourselves to believe that because we have the Holy Spirit, because we believe, we can see ourselves, each other and the world clearly. We can even go as far as believing, or at least acting as if we believe, that if we just work hard enough, love people and God more, and make some changes, we can be everything God wants us to be.  We tell ourselves we just need to make better choices, have more faith, be more diligent in Bible study etc.., etc.., etc.. While all those things are true and beneficial, we tend to ignore the underlying problem. No matter how clearly we think we see and understand, while on this earth, we see "as in a mirror darkly".  We forget that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him. We don't realize our vision is tainted.  We cannot imagine all God has planned.  We do not see all that He does.  We can see bits and pieces of the big picture, but never the entire thing. Our minds cannot comprehend all He is, so we cannot fully explain or understand what is right in front of us. We may know that we need to "carry a ten", but our spiritual eyes are not strong enough, yet. to see exactly where it goes. 

Just as our son will need help in strengthening his eyes, we need help in strengthening our spiritual vision. So we pray, we study, we worship,  and we fellowship. At times it is an easy joyful thing. We see results quickly. Other times it is time consuming, painful and tedious. It seems we will never see it all. Our optometrist was honest that he does not have the expertise and know-how to fully help our son. We must be honest that we need outside help. We need each other, our pastors, mentors, counselors and, most importantly, the Holy Spirit, to help us see the things we don't even know we are missing. Sometimes we need to trust that others see things in us, in our families and in our churches, that we can't. 

We are putting our son's vision into the hands of a specialist with the faith that as one who has more knowledge and understanding, he can help in ways we never can.  We are backing off on the multiple digit multiplication until the underlying issue is corrected or we have the tools we need to help him. One day, he will face multiplication without stress, but that day may be a long time coming. 

I need to do the same with my life. I need to rely on the One who has more knowledge and understanding. I need to trust that there may be others who see me more clearly than I see myself.  I need to stop worrying about the symptoms of sin, and deal with the underlying issues of my heart. I need to remember that my vision issues will never be fully resolved on this earth, but one day, I will see clearly - and it will be brighter and more beautiful than I ever imagined.